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6bcaed that and other things. i dunno. I always get sad when I'm home alone now. Im emotionally dependent on him, I dont want to be but I am and I love and hate it. Regret for past actions as well & such & such.

21655d Holy hell, Misuti?

19e938 You said you where sad, is it due to those thoughts or is it something else?

6bcaed yeah, I love him too. hes my sweet silly baby boy. he makes me feel whole when i dont feel like anything sometimes.

19e938 He obviously loves you so he isn’t going to let something like that get in the way of caring for you, goofball

6bcaed yes lmao, hes aware of all of that. he's the one who drove me to the hospital after I had a psychotic breakdown in his apartment last november and somehow he still thought "hm i want that one" after i stained his carpet.

19e938 No have you told him about the suicidal thoughts

6bcaed yeah but he "believes" in me because im so good to him i m u s t be a good mom right?

19e938 Oh, have you told him about this?

6bcaed I dont think im mentally capable of taking care of a human child lol. i wanted to kms a couple days ago bc i spilled mop water in the house lmao

19e938 Are you sure you want to abort it either way?

6bcaed I know. i mean abortion is illegal here but there are ways I could force one before anyone knows.

6bcaed Yeah

6bcaed oh the woes of "wrong chat"

19e938 Suddenly i am craving crickets

19e938 Nine months i guess

6bcaed But I have serious respect for people who can eat anything, unlike them, I wouldnt survive in the apocalypse with how picky I,ve become.

6bcaed Congratulations! whens the due date?

19e938 Oh,,,

c95776 Bmo this might be a sign that you are pregnant

19e938 I will literally eat anything that is put infrint of me

6bcaed thats valid!

6bcaed they smell weird, the texture is wacky silly and theyre made with funky bits.

c95776 I'd prefer not tosay sorry

35dc76 aw ya dont? why not

6bcaed what was the before? || I personally do not like hotdogs

c95776 a- well I did go by a different name before so it would makes sense if you didn't remember me.

35dc76 i like hotdogs

6bcaed Im not sure, my memory sucks raw hotdogs.

c95776 Am I recognizable?

5060e8 ive been pretty inconsistent with pam over the past few years so idk either

6bcaed Hey, no I dont think we have, and if we did I dont remeber -^^'-

19e938 No its fine lol

5060e8 uhmm hi misuti idk if i actually know you but if i do, hi

6bcaed Oh oof I'm sorry about that

19e938 Uhhh i dont think you did that, if you did i changed phones so its gone

6bcaed Thanks. I did give you my phone number didnt I? I dont remember.

19e938 No its alrighty, you got a life and everything i understand. Glad you’ve gotten to a happier place overall

6bcaed being alive and able to make your own decisions is a hell of a privilege.

6bcaed no clue tbh i havent even tried taking melatonin in over a year lol. my fiancé pops them like candy though. They had me on xan for a while but I stopped taking those, i tell my doctor i still do tho lol. im sorry I drifted away from you bmo. I feel really bad about that. I miss our old conversations. I got a bad habit of abandoning people I care about bc I worry theyll do it first lmao. Dumb silly brain.

99bd4d Darn that blows.. I hope you two can eventually get to see each other more