i feel i deserve it for all ive done. i deserve my social rejection especially. i was a rotten soul and for some reason people still wanted to like me. i didnt deserve them, i never really will. years have past, i got better as a person but now they want nothing to do with me. i push everyone way. including my cousin. they didnt deserve to be pushed away by me but i did anyway for nothing. i was their rock. the one they counted on. and i pushed them away.