“My makeup held the entire time, I was called elegant more than 5 times". Oh, really buddy? Who counted? Your imaginary friends? Let me translate this pathetic little humble-brag for you: you plastered three pounds of Sephora clearance rack pixels onto your face, stood in the corner of the chat avoiding eye contact like a socially paralyzed weirdo, and five random pity-passers lied to your face just so you wouldn't burst into tears and ruin the cheap foundation.