nat i tried to do it just now. i wasn't just saying words, i genuinely just tried to kill my brother. he's asleep and vulnerable, so it should have been easy. but i didn't. don't know why, maybe i still care about him somewhere deep in my mind, or maybe i'm scared of the consequences. no matter why though, i failed. i wasted everyone's time. i made a big deal out of shit i experience daily. so please stop.