rp gallery

bce8e5 I didn't feel like a person, more like a body. The largest amount of "emotion" that I remember was some weird delirious worry that people could smell me rotting, since I thought I was actually dead and just "pretending" to be alive. It was very odd. It wasn't scary, at all. I went out to the woods at night alot, it felt like they where calling me to go be there at night, I took alot of pictures of innocuous things, the asphalt, a playground post, a wooden bridge guardrail, a tree, the dark space between some trees. But it felt like when I looked into the darkness of the forrest I was looking into some grand cosmic mirror, since there wasn't a self anymore.

9df770 i see, and how did that affect how you went about doing your usual things?

fbdf37 Interesting

e7125a jeez bmo that sux, im in a similar situation right now, albeit not nearly as severe, and it’s mostly because i’ve been so sick lately

bce8e5 My therapist said that what came next is the depersonalization, it felt like Bmo died, and I was just left in my mental staring at his corpse, sort of bemused and uncertain what to do. It felt like I was some other being that just woke up and was handed the script for being Bmo.

fbdf37 auuuuu

e7125a It seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on tv

9df770 its a very volatile effect that leads to bipolar esque type moods.

bce8e5 A year ago I was going through an extremely mentally taxxing and emotionally punishing situation and I was repressing my feelings on it simply because it felt like I couldn't do anything, it surmounted to what felt like impossible amounts of pain and turmoil, I was in anguish whenever left alone with my thoughts, my bed frame has visible bite marks from when i bit down on it some nights out of fury and delirium while trashing around and groaning, just because of thoughts. throughout the day I was so pressurized with this dread and overwhelming doom that I was unable to do any daily task, I didn't feel like going to school, I didn't feel like going to work, I didn't feel like doing anything fun, I didn't feel like talking with anyone, after a bit I started to not feel at all.

9df770 derealization is like watching the world play from inside your head like a tv screen. you have no real control over what you do besides watching yourself do it. its like your body moves on your own and you aren't thinking of anything.

fbdf37 Farming my aura that's farming the aura

e7125a Would people that play vrchat like 24/7 fall under derealization?

bce8e5 derealization is a response to trauma/stress where the brain shuts itself off from the real world, it's almost like the real world melts away and you're left mentally stationary in your own world to protect yourself. People expreience it in different ways, personally I don't know if I've ever experienced it, but I bet it feels very off.

e7125a It would have to be very light music though, i want the video to like, ‘feel quiet’ whatever that means

bce8e5 i think music could add to it for sure

e7125a Well there’s no “dialogue” it’s a 1 sided convo but yk

9df770 enlighten me

e7125a also question for u guys, or at least people that have seen my previous animation, should i add music to this new one? It has alot more dialogue and it more based around a central conversation rather than a whole tale, but idk what i could even use that would make sense…

bce8e5 he brought up how what it probably was was depersonalization, do you know what the difference between derealization and depersonalization is?

9df770 i just got back wth is going onnn

e7125a Noted, im not going to pry for info about that if you dont want me to but, that’s very interesting

bce8e5 talking with my therapist reminded me of a period in my life a year or so ago, i've been thinking about it alot

3c002f Why do you have the scars like that one guy from jjk, is this a fake bmo

3c002f Oh oksorry

fbdf37 🕙

3c002f Do we start theorizing kekw

bce8e5 i'm just doodling

bce8e5 https://youtu.be/9YE_YxJ7K7M?si=CMFq5l7_KKn_W_Qr

bce8e5

6d450c Bmo if he was a key on a keyboard:

fbdf37 Bmo is in a box because he is cold🥹

6d450c Bloobs drop the victor redesign saar you’ve been on here for like 4 hours

bce8e5

6d450c Are these shots from the anim bmo or just vaugeposting

fbdf37 No way blue radiation man

bce8e5

236914 can one of you bully me into drawing victor please im procrastinating

bce8e5

8defd6 anyway i'll wait for one of you to get back to me on my question, ima work on my anim for a bit

fbdf37 I lowkey have dementia and forget a lot of people 🥹

8defd6 actually drawing on the phone was how i adopted this artstyle where i use the sketch as an outline, cuz i cant draw consistent shapes that fast on there