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a38274 holly. you aren't useless, and you sure as hell aren't annoying. I understand how you might feel like you risk losing everyone and everything you know from one stupid remark. I've been there. I'm still there, even. But you can't just let that take hold of you and let it weigh you down. People know you're a great person. I know you're a great person. You just gotta try to be your best. Just try that for me, okay?

0043b2 OH MY GOD CAN SOMEBODY STOP MAKING PAM LAG SO FUCKING MUCH

0043b2 don't mind me, just some nobody venting to an empty crowd.

0043b2 i. am. useless.

0043b2 that fucking ghost girl character ruined my life. there is no bright side to look on, as the sun had died out long ago.

0043b2 maybe that's it. i'm so scared of being alone again it manifested itself into my mind and is actively making me do these things.

0043b2 i've always been a problematic person. always.

0043b2 i cannot control my mental being, nor can i help myself get out of this prison i've trapped myself in.

0043b2 i sit here every day, hands fucking shaking, wondering if today will be the day my partners and friends eventually get tired of me.

0043b2 i need to stop this. i've always needed to stop this.

0043b2 i get snarky remarks will always be snarky remarks, but they've costed me multiple relationships and friendships. i'm too juxtaposed on my own pride that i don't realize im actively hurting people.

0043b2 i want to take myself out, but i just CAN'T do it.

0043b2 oh my god.

e29a5a oh heck, i gtg... uhm... i guess i should say not to talk here anymore too much?? so that my messages about my analogy can stay up a bit longer.. if that makes sense. I should just make a channel and put it all there, but i'll do that sometime later... anyways cya wahhhh

e29a5a again, fair, wah... i hope this is hitting home Luna, if you're still here. i feel like if you took this to heart, and i mean you really swore yourself to this analogy, you'd start doing better

8e146b I would say that I'm also in the middle. I cook with vector art but not really in pixel art.

e29a5a you cant grow ignorant, focusing on only who's above or who's below. you gotta be aware and see both up and down to understand your own worth, because you do have worth

e29a5a thats fair ebag, wah. Pride is mostly for those who are very high up, who might get a superiority complex or something lol, we're all on the bottom half, but just because there are many people farther up doesnt mean that we're not above others

e29a5a im.. kinda proud of this analogy though, because i think it works well for what many people can relate to, though i'd argue its mostly "envy" rather then "pride", but pride is still relevant due to both being the solution to the other.

fedf74 I try to push myself to get better at art but the thing is I suck at art and I keep trying but I feel like it goes nowhere

842b2e I think I'm probably near the middle, because I can see that I've improved from where I started, but I'm still aware that I can improve further. Only issue is that I don't rarely push myself to actually improve my art, lol.

e29a5a where you are isnt relevant, where others are is what matters. because its a balance of contradiction. You cant call yourself worthless compared to those above you because there will ALWAYS be someone thats worse. and you cant be overconfident because of those below you because there will ALWAYS be someone better.

e29a5a thats the thing though, no matter where you put yourself, on the grand scheme of things: there will always be someone above you, and there will always be someone below. you have to realize this and that your efforts arent in vain, because the progress you've made is more then many others have

fedf74 me when posting in the wrong channel

fedf74 yeah me and Ebag have the same shit school system so we both can't see it, its also why we have the same ID

854bfe I DID READ IT-

fedf74 I'm definetly on the envy side of things, I wish I could be good at art like most of the people on this site

e29a5a luna there is no way you read that word for word and said that with a straight face, please read it through, i know its alot, but it should help you.

e29a5a Finding balance between Pride & Envy, being able to gauge how far you've come AND how much further you want to improve, finding that equinox is how you truly find happiness and improve at a great and healthy pace. This isnt easy though, but being conscious of this analogy and focusing on it when you get in your feelings about either feeling like others are below your skill level, and feeling as though you'll never improve. You need to find a balance to work best

854bfe Oh... I assume I'm really low on the spire...?

e29a5a The Spire of Pride and Envy is an analogy I made up, Your position on the spire is where you're at artistically. Depending on what you focus on, being those who are on higher floors or lower floors then where you are, You either suffer from Pride: You look down at other people on the sprire and gain confidence for where you are compared to them, however too much Pride can make you grow ignorant to advice and constrictive criticism from others to help you, and you never bother looking up at those who are better then you to find a reason to try and improve. On the flip side, You can suffer from Envy: You constantly look up at those who are more skilled then you in your eyes, and your envy inspires you to take after those who you look up towards, However too much Envy can lead you to lose confidence in your own artwork due to comparing yourself to those above you, never looking down to see how far you've come, and those who might envy you the same way you envy others.

854bfe Wah-

e29a5a whew... okay... alotta yapping coming ahead, but i'd argue its imporant and relevant yapping

e29a5a okay so i havent talked to you about it... i guess i should say it here, its good for others to see this, but uh... i gtg for a minute, i'll brb

854bfe Doesn't ring a bell

e29a5a oh uh- themk you, wah

e29a5a Luna, wah, Spire of Pride and Envy, have i talked to you about it already or nah

cdeca6 You unfortunately don't- but I have seen your stuff and think you're a pretty cool person (imo)

e29a5a Riley... i dont think i know you, but you have the same name as an irl friend of mine, wah

854bfe I can't help it, I see artwork that I think looks better than mine and mine ends up looking like garbage

cdeca6 waoh. active chat,,.